I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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