ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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