i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
