why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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