Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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