How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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