so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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