I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
