official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
The ass gains better be worth it
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