he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
