ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
