I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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