Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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