burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
