I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
