I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
