gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
why do cheetos always look like penises
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
