He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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