there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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