Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
