Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool

(252): View more from North Carolina

Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five

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(330): View more from Ohio

so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister

(216): View more from Ohio

i hate you

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(231): View more from Michigan

Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(714): View more from California

He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.

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(515): View more from Iowa

He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.

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(425): View more from Washington

I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.

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(925): View more from California

She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.

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