do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
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He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
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I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.