Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
