If i come over, it means nothing
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
