I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
