Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
