Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
