whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
