ya dads aren't the best wingmen
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
