she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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