but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think your dad took our porno
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
