I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we're making bets on your personal life
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
