He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
