Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
