He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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