How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
