Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
