I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
