Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
