The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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