but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
