We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is this like a preordered booty call?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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