Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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