if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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