were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
