so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize