yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
