I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
