You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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