She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
