Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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