No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Help. Why am I so naked?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
