I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
