There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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