now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
