I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
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I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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