My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just invented taco cereal.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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