I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize