This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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