Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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