Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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