I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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