Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
