did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
