i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
