I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
