whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
