I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
